RECTAL EXAMS

All the stupid spying that the United States does--on ordinary U.S. citizens and on its closest and most important allies--must be caused by something serious, something seriously out of place.  The American "spy culture" is not just stupid; it is asinine.

Dr. Hornback agrees, and recommends rectal exams.  American leaders, it seems, must all must have their heads up their asses.  The Surgeon General should order his troops to conduct rectal exams on everybody from Obama down to the lowest intelligence officer.  The Surgeon General's troops will find their rectums all stuffed with heads:  their own heads..

Then the Surgeon General can send out all his Colonels with their Colonoscopes, to perform Colonoscopies.  And then?  As Thomas Aquinas might have put it, rectum ratio factibilium.

Need I go further?  Our language has a long list of coprological idioms that one might quite properly use for Mr. Obama and his government, having to do with fecal eating, fecal-facedness, fecal causes of blindness,etc.