A hundred million Americans have pledged to use the automatic ice-makers on their refrigerators to make a billion ice cubes to send to the North Pole to restore the ice cap.
For summer vacations, Americans are being urged to drive their cars downhill only, to save gasoline and reduce emissions.
The Surgeon General has urged flatulent Americans to reduce their emissions to once a day.
Republicans have agreed to filibuster only in sign language, and if the Hot Air bill passes, politicians will be silenced indefinitely.
The Office of Air Pollution Control has banned all radio talk shows, and both CNN and Fox News.
Smokers will be forbidden to exhale.
The American Medical Association has recommended that human body temperatures be reduced to 90.0 F. by 2012.
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