UTILITARIAN BIOTECHNOLOGY AWARD

The Center for the Advancement of Peripheral Thought has made a significant grant to its Department of Utilitarian Biotechnology, for work on the cross-breeding of dogs and eyeglasses. One of the great wastes of human talent seems to be the misplacement of eyeglasses; this waste could be eliminated if eyeglasses could be taught to follow their humans around, the way dogs do. A team of researchers will be selected by Professor Susan di Nahm and her research associate, Doctor Norman D. Plumm. Applications may be submitted any time within the next six months to the Center for the Advancement of Peripheral Thought.